by Irene Daniel
Bob Dylan's great ballad perennially warns us that "the times, they are a-changin'." And today in the land of the free and the home of the brave, they are also a-polarizin'!
I have to admit, I'm one of the worst offenders when it comes to hyperbole and vitriol at times when I am frustrated and angry. So please don't think that I am calling out anyone more than I am calling myself to the truth about this fact; for the only real change I can ever make is in myself. That's why I write and read and keep on trying to discover the truth; and once discovered, not betray my truth with false dichotomies and overzealous representations or flat-out distortions of facts.
I much prefer to surrender to what Abe Lincoln described as "the better angles of our nature," than to the false sense of superiority that my ego (not my amigo, by the way) tells me I have earned. As most of you who regularly read my posts (thanks a lot) already know, I often fail in my attempts to do so, despite my best intentions. I will never stop trying, however, to improve this flaw in my own betrayal of a well-honed critical thinking acumen.
I am frustrated and angry too; just like everybody else. But more than I am frustrated with certain events, policies or laws, I am frustrated with the conversation our nation is having of late. It seems that many of us try to persuade our fellows by proclaiming that those who disagree are just plain dumb. In my experience, name-calling of any kind usually serves to stop-cold any meaningful or intelligent discussion, and may very well start a fight. Just check out the facebook page of anyone who has any opinion on anything to get a whiff of what I'm talking about here.
Another tactic often used is the false dichotomy; forcing a choice between two opposite extremes, neither of which may be true, or both of which may be partly true. This stark choice is offered as the only rational one, rather than allow other alternatives to even be explored or discussed. Forcing one another into extreme choices against those who would not entertain that choice for whatever reason they may have is the tactic of a bully. For example: You're either part of the solution or part of the problem. I have to admit that I've done this; and it really isn't fair. It doesn't look or sound any better on me than it does on anyone else.
I am reminded of the story of the Six Blind Men and the Elephant (or five or three in certain versions). So, I did some research on the story and found that there is a lot to know about this little fable of Indian origin. There is also a Chinese story in which there were three blind men, and another in which there were five. There is also an excellent and entertaining poem written by 19th century American poet John Godfrey Saxe, as well as many other writings. All of these versions and writings warn us about relying solely on our own human, thus limited, perspectives. We all have blind spots which can often only be revealed to us in our reflection in the eyes of another human being.
The point of the story is that each of them touched a different part of the elephant and described their experiences accordingly. None of them were factually wrong. To the one with the tail, it was just like a rope. For the one with the ear, it was like a fan. And so on, and so on. However, each of them was not entirely correct because, in their blindness, they were unable to appreciate the experiences of their fellows. Hence, they each thought the others were just plain wrong. Isn't that how we are?
We all experience this world and our lives in our own humanly unique fashion. We live in different places, choose different lifestyles and have different priorities. We may all even witness the same event and perceive it differently based upon our cultures, our faiths, locations and other circumstances that influence our world view. We are all different. Isn't it time we started celebrating that fact instead of trying to destroy one another over those differences?
I know why what makes sense to me makes sense to me. What I do not know is why what makes sense to you makes sense to you. And I cannot know why it makes sense to you unless and until I am willing to allow my imagination to travel outside of my comfort zone in order to better understand. And understanding cannot be had without the ability to listen with an intent to learn, rather than listening defensively in order to be able to immediately pounce upon perceived weaknesses in the logic of others.
I don't have the answers. I mostly have questions. I get on people's nerves a lot with my insatiable curiosity at times; but for me the answers are all in the asking. Asking questions is acknowledging my own ignorance about whatever it is that has captured my imagination. Asking invites information and, hopefully, delicious conversations that I love so much.
Perhaps if the blind men could have reached out to touch the hand of the other, and gently guide him through his own experience, and allow all the others to take his hand and do the same, there would have been no need for argument. Moreover, they each could have experienced the totality, the wholeness of the elephant before them. How magnificent a creature they could have discovered together.
We can all ague for a space in our lives where we deliberately exclude and/or dismiss "the other." But what does that really do? Does our clinging to our limited, albeit not necessarily incorrect, perspectives help us to move forward together? As one nation? A "more perfect" union? Not so far.
Is it really "either/or"? Isn't it really more like "both/and"?
What do you think?
Copyright 2015, Irene Daniel, all rights reserved.
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