The id Blogger: GUNS AND VIOLENCE IN AMERICA: ...

The id Blogger: GUNS AND VIOLENCE IN AMERICA: ...:             I had barely had a chance to absorb the murder-suicide committed by Kansas City football player, Jovan Belcher, when there w...

GUNS AND VIOLENCE IN AMERICA: The Many Ingredients of Violent Discontent

            I had barely had a chance to absorb the murder-suicide committed by Kansas City football player, Jovan Belcher, when there was a mass shooting at a shopping mall, followed 3 days later bythe horrific massacre at Newtown, Conn, in which 28 people died, including twenty 6 and 7 year-old children, and six educators; as well as the shooter and his murdered mother.  While there is much conversation in the twitter-verse and blogasphere, as well as in Washington lately, something about this last incident seems to have tipped the conversation somewhat, to a greater acceptance of implementing reasonable gun safety measures.        

While I am glad to see the conversation shifting somewhat, it appears that many are looking for some kind of magical one-stop answer to an issue that is very complicated and involves many different aspects of our society. There are also those on the right who respond immediately and defensively, as though armed forces are going to trample through their homes and businesses next week and confiscate all of their firearms.

There are no easy answers, no quick solutions that would have prevented these incidents from occurring; nor any easy solutions to future prevention of such horrific acts. Any sustaining solution to gun safety issues must include not only easy access to weapons, but mental health accessibility and privacy, as well as the glorification of violence in our culture, from video games to TV shows.

I grew up in a small town, probably much like Newtown in many ways. Known as the “Cowboy Cradle of the Southwest,” my home town reveled in the cowboy culture of horses, rodeos and guns. At that time, we also had a federal and state prison, which employed many of our local citizens. A lot of people had guns, but never flaunted or worshipped them. They were used for hunting and personal protection. Dove and quail were hunted in our neck of the woods, and deer farther north. On occasion, local hunters would bring my mother dressed carcasses of dove and quail, as well as venison steaks, because they knew of our struggle with poverty, and that my mother needed this meat to feed us.

I will always respect hunters and those who use guns for sport, as I know so many of them, and know them to be responsible gun owners. Moreover, this is really a more holistic way to feed oneself, rather than picking a package out of a cellophaned butcher counter. Perhaps some of my liberal friends who shudder at the mere mention of a gun, could treat these individuals with greater respect for their way of life, and realize that any outright ban of all personal firearms is not only, just not going to happen, but is unnecessary and disrespectful to their fellow Americans. However, if any of the weapons used by Adam Lanza had been used for hunting, there would be nothing left of those birds to cook.

             So what is reasonable with regard to guns? A ban on assault weapons? Restricted access for those who are not mentally and emotionally mature enough and stable enough to control their emotional impulses? Certainly these solutions seem reasonable to most of us, but creating legislation that addresses the competing interests of freedom, safety and privacy needs to be arrived at very carefully and methodically in order to arrive at a meaningful solution that also respects the freedom and privacy of our citizens. I am confident that compromise can be found as our lawmakers prepare to debate and negotiate more appropriate gun safety laws, in an effort to prevent such wholesale slaughter in the future.

            The issues of violence in our culture and mental health distinctions are much more complex, however.  We will all need to set aside our egos and what we think we know as we navigate all of the complications that implicate 1^st amendment freedoms and privacy issues. For me, the issues of violent cultural choices and mental health are not always easy to separate. For example, in the case of the Belcher murder-suicide, I see a number of prevention tools that were either not known to the victims, or simply ignored.

Let me explain further. This murder-suicide took place on a Saturday.  Saturdays for professional football players are “game-face” days. In other words, in order to prepare for the next day’s aggression, a football player starts to put his “game-face” on in the 24 – 48 hours preceding the big game. Which means that Belcher was most likely already in an aggressive mind-set, as well we would expect. His victim, Kasandra Perkins, being very young, very stressed out and extremely hormonal, being 3 months post-partum, was possibly not in complete emotional control either. So, we have game-face and raging hormones most likely controlling the conversation and communications between these 2 people. When we add to this scenario, access to a firearm in the overwhelming gun culture prevalent in professional sports, we have a recipe for violent disaster. I wonder if either of them had every been counseled about how to avoid and/or resolve quarrels by using tools and methods that can be taught to all of us.

While there is a lot of discussion out there about violence in public places, there is woefully little about violence in the home and its effects on our culture as a whole. Isn’t home where everything begins? It is my opinion, based on my experience, not only as a family law attorney, but as a mother, daughter, sister and human being, that many of us were abused, in one way or another as children. I am not blaming my mother, or the Greatest Generation, or any one entity, but I have to be honest about the violence I grew up with in my home; and the years of treatment and medication it has taken for me to cope and learn to leave that part of my life behind. Social mores were different then, and what was once discipline is now considered abuse. My mother did the best she could, and there was no real help for her in dealing with her rage and inability to control her emotions at times, so she never sought treatment for her depression. If she had, she probably would have had her children removed from the home, which would have exacerbated her emotional imbalance. Most child abusers were themselves abused. Most of them need treatment, not incarceration where there illness can only fester, left untreated.

Too many of us have witnessed and/or personally experienced ways in which violence is used as a problem-solving tool. For some of us, that lesson was learned at an early age. This is the root of the problem, I assert, for many people with uncontrollable violent tendencies. When we see this as children, and are not treated for our trauma, or not taught other ways resolve differences that are as quick and effective as violence, we begin to adopt it as our own, whether consciously or subconsciously. Moreover, when we see this tool being used in all kinds of ways for entertainment value, it becomes an acceptable norm.

            And when we see, over and over again, this tool being used by others, and merely lamented instead of adequately analyzed in an attempt to prevent it, we become hopeless and/or defensive. I think this is where we find ourselves today.

            First and foremost, we must ensure that all of us, especially our children have ready access to mental health care professionals. Children in pain are often willing to talk to an adult about their issues if they feel that they are safe and that their sharing will not lead to further complications for their parents and families. I know that I never shared my trauma because I thought that my mother would be punished and that the authorities would take me away from her. Even as a child, I knew that she needed help more than punishment. I am not suggesting that child abusers not be held accountable, especially those who inflict permanent physical damage. But amends can be made in other ways that don’t further threaten whatever stability those children have in their lives, or that induce a sense of guilt for having their parents imprisoned. Some child-abusers need to be behind bars; most do not. Here in California, the Children's Court in place to deal with dysfunctional and dangerous conditions for children, is woefully underfunded and sometimes seen as only adding additional trauma to young lives due to inadequate resources. The mental health of children should be our highest, not our lowest priority.

            My ultimate point is this:  children who were themselves abused, or witnessed physical abuse and violence in their families of origin, and who are treated for their trauma, are less likely to become violent themselves. Moreover, they are more likely to know how to get help for themselves and their families, when they see emotions escalating into violence. There are solutions if we have the will to prioritize our nation's mental health, especially for children.

            How’s that for a starting point in dealing with violence in our communities?

The id Blogger: THE BITTERSWEET HARVEST OF GRIEF

The id Blogger: THE BITTERSWEET HARVEST OF GRIEF:               I am not myself lately. October 30, 2012, will mark the 6 month anniversary of my mother’s death. It will also be just ov...

The id Blogger: A PERSONAL STORY OF CHOICE

The id Blogger: A PERSONAL STORY OF CHOICE:               Thirty-three ago, almost to the day, I made one of the most profound and challenging decisions of my entire life. I was...

The id Blogger: THE GOP AND RACE IN AMERICA: Whiteness to Die For...

The id Blogger: THE GOP AND RACE IN AMERICA: Whiteness to Die For...: By  M. Irene Daniel                 I have been working on this story for a while now. Every time I felt ready to write it, more inci...

The id Blogger: What does "better qualified" mean?

The id Blogger: What does "better qualified" mean?: On November 1, 2012, I responded to an op-ed penned by Michael Kinsley regarding affirmative action. Kinsley was responding to a recent stu...

The id Blogger: Post-election Musings

The id Blogger: Post-election Musings:             It has been 4 weeks since election day and I finally feel ready to talk about it, having given some time for things to sink in;...

Post-election Musings

            It has been 4 weeks since election day and I finally feel ready to talk about it, having given some time for things to sink in; as well as to observe reactions, overreactions and other fall-out from this historic election.

            I am, of course, very glad that my candidate won and that it was a very good day for Democrats. Having been on the losing end in 2000, a bitter defeat, I wish no ill-will for those whose candidate did not win.

            More than anything else, I am relieved; not just that the election is over, but that the White House could not be purchased or stolen by empowered and politically active wealth. Even beyond that, my greatest relief is that our nation’s citizens chose moving forward instead of falling backward. By this I mean that the giant step forward with the election of America’s first African-American President, was not followed by a couple of steps backward by giving any legitimacy to the birthers and those who sought to undermine the authority of the Obama presidency before it even began nearly 4 years ago.

            I remember feeling a new sense of excitement and inclusion in 2008, and that feeling was reaffirmed last month. The reason this is so important is because of our post-Civil War history of electing former slaves to Congress and state legislatures, only to destroy the hopes of African-Americans at that time, with the rise of Jim Crow and the Ku Klux Klan. I was very afraid of a backlash, fueled by the incensed racists in the Republican party, who will never be able to honor President Obama with any dignity or respect.  This does not mean that all Republicans are racists. I don't believe that to be true. I am referring only to that part of the Republican party that is obviously racist.

            The racists of today will tell you that the reason those post-Reconstruction blacks elected to office were unable to manage the difficulty and sophistication of governing, was because of “what happened to them.” I heard someone explain this situation to me using those very words in my law office in South Pasadena a couple of years ago.  I almost could not believe what I was hearing. This is but one example of the myriad expressions of white supremacy, subliminal or otherwise, heard in and around Pasadena, California in the 21^st century.

            This is the very same tone used by John Sununu, among others, who constantly implied that President Obama tried, but just wasn’t up to the job. Sununu, Rush Limbaugh, et al, all were trying to appeal the subliminal white supremacist in most of white America today, by suggesting that he was lazy, that he didn’t understand what it meant to be “American,” and that he was everything but what he actually is – an intelligent, strong and effective global leader. There are hundreds of examples of this disdain for blackness in the White House, but they really are not worth repeating, and it would take too much time and space to do so.

            However, it appears that the backlash would be to the Republicans for spewing such 19^th century ideas of ethnic inferiority in this day and age. For, in so doing, they actually may have done more than any other factor to motivate non-whites to vote in 2012. Latinos were very motivated after the State of Arizona passed SB1070, clearly meant to target all Mexican-looking people, in their hunt for “illegals;” and heralded by the extreme right wing of the GOP. Blacks became more motivated when faced with the attempts by the Republican party to disenfranchise them, particularly in important swing states; and the LGBT community was encouraged by President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage. The women of America were mostly not willing to turn their bodies over to people like Todd Akin and Richard Murdoch, who obviously had no idea what they were talking about, and then were stunned to find their comments so unwelcome.

            So, it appears that a strong coalition of “the other” turned out to say to the world that they were simply not going to take this kind of stuff lying down anymore. When buoyed by the surprisingly large youth vote, this army of non-white, non-male, non-wealthy, non-straight and non-old people overwhelmed all Republican attempts, legitimate and otherwise, to convince most Americans that their interests would best be served by a Romney presidency. The youth vote is significant because the under-30 vote doesn’t usually vote in large numbers in two presidential election cycles in a row.

            Thus, it appears that the changing demographic in America resoundingly rejected the otherization of their neighbors, friends, lovers and class-mates, choosing instead to move forward as one nation -- a nation that honors, not lambasts its citizens. Obama supporters want to see a nation that cares for its sick, educates its children and honors the daily labor of the people who actually do the heavy lifting of keeping our economy moving.

            It appears, however, that the GOP didn’t get the memo on who won the election. Even a month after the election, they are completely dumbfounded by their huge demographic and electoral loss. I must say, I am dumbfounded by their dumbfoundedness.  My experience with conservative Caucasians in America is that, they just don’t know what they don’t know. The sad truth is, they don’t want to know.